The shark attacks are getting to Graham. He reckons he will never surf WA again.

‘I’m gonna invent a cage that people can go swimming in’

‘That’s the stupidest idea I have ever heard’

‘You won’t be saying that when you get taken.’

That was last week. It must be playing on his mind because last night as I was giving him a shiatsu he started up again.

‘Addis really gives me the heebie jeebies. The paddle in is so long and the water’s always murky.’

‘Yeah I always get a bit freaked out when I’m there.’

‘You can’t ignore your shark intuition… The Killer Whale is the only animal that can defeat a Great White did you know that?’

‘No I did not know that,’ I say as I light the moxa cone.

‘Yep. The Killer Whale. So I’m gonna invent a board that pipes the sounds of the Killer Whale from the bottom of it.’

Add this to the list of Graham’s paranoia fuelled inventions, alongside the surfboard with the built in magnifying glass/viewing window.